Trust

I was talking to my sis last night, and our conversation turned to be about being young and "how does society support and value adolescent people." (My hypothesis being that society didn't really do a very good job at honoring young people, especially adolescents.) In conversation, we came to realize that we are both have been going through a sort of remembering.  After all this searching for who we are and what we want in life, we came to realize that when we were 11, 13, 15, we knew more about who we were and what we wanted than we did for the following 20 years.  We are both experiencing a sort of returning to our selves, our loves and preferences. Our young selves knew...before societal and cultural pressures pushed us around and made us doubt that we knew who we were or made us believe that we needed to be more or different or like someone else.  The message that we were "too young to know what we wanted in life" was played over and over and how were we to know any better?

 So here I am with the same dream I had as a child.  Now, my job is to trust myself.  Because that person is the person who wants to trust my daughter. 

Just Ask

My upbringing led me to believe life was about struggle, the world is full of mindless droids that follow the status quo, there will be resistance waiting at every turn and I will have to fight to achieve any sort of positive change or success, even personal success.

Naturally, when I realized our assignment sheets from the charter school were having too negative of an effect on our love of learning and life, I was ready to go in with my tail bristled, to fight. I wrote our overseeing teacher an email about how the coerced reading, repetition, static assignments and worksheets have negative effects.  She wrote back asking what did I think would work. I wrote her about child-led learning, free-ranging, spontaneity, teachable moments, and integrated lives. Learning happens in every moment, at every turn. I wrote about how difficult it is to fit Ramona's mind into the public school package, how her backing off from subjects is often a preliminary to a breakthrough in that subject...

Later that day I head into the meeting triweekly meeting, I have that tinge of pre confrontation anxiety. After we go over her work from the last few weeks, the teacher tells us that, instead of writing our assignment sheet for the upcoming 3 weeks, she would like to write it at the end of the three weeks.  Basically, she is going to write the assignment sheets retroactively from now on.  My job is merely to jot down what learning activities we do and then she will filter that into a form that will please the powers that be. Wow. Sometimes I forget that I might be able to have my cake and eat it too (I don't like that saying, but I used it anyway), at least a little...

It's true: when you step out of line the are cards stacked against you. It takes a lot of finagling to homeschool children.  And it is MUCH harder than it was before compulsory schooling came along.  Children's culture has moved into the classroom, and it's extra work to find child spaces during daytime hours.  But things are changing a little, especially here in Sonoma County.  Montessori and Waldorf Public Schools, Independent study schools with non-compulasary classes...exploding numbers of homeschool families, along with groups meetings, activities, and support is growing.  Things are changing.

A society where the average parent feels that not sending their child to school is a viable option is a society I would love to live in. I homeschool because it is part of my utopia. I envision the future I would like to see, and then I live it right now. Living our future now is the only way I know to get there. The more of us that do this, the easier it is to move on to that future.

So, no more reading drills - we get to do reading on the fly. We changed our maps workbook into a study of culture and environment.  We're still going to do math by the book, its easier that way...I cross of pages whenever she does math activities on the computer or otherwise. We are free...freeish anyway.  The more the better.

So, I guess the lesson here is...ASK. You never know. The system may be against what you are doing, but the people in it are...people.  Not droids. At least not all of them. Some folks are in education cause they actually value education and they might envision a future not so different from you and I.



PS: In other news, I want to change the name of this blog. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Your house will look like its lived in

If a home is bustling with life, education, creativity and children... it probably won't be a very clean house.  It won't sit empty and alone all day, waiting for the family hubbub that comes at 3pm, or at 5:30 or 6 or 7.  It won't be like some homes, meticulous arrangements, as if a display case, showcasing it's inhabitants.  We have our art tables, hula hoops, a trampoline, and carpentry projects in the living room.  We've got a comfy chair in the dining room, so we can relax, cook, and chat all at the same time.  Sometimes R's room gets cleaned spic and span, but after focusing all that cleaning energy on one room, the rest of the house shows the neglect.

It's us too.  I need to work with R, but of course she is six and I am one (person that is). I was also never taught to clean as a child. I was taught to keep my mess in my room.  Our mess is always from 100 different places.  The legos go for a space ride and end up under the table of veggie starts, someone needs a crayon to write a note, and they leave it on the dining room table next the the hair tie I just pulled from my hair.  And R doesn't like clothes, so often strips in the middle of whatever activity and the clothes get forgotten...

If you spend half you time at schools and offices you have a maid or a janitor to clean up after you.  You also have your learning and work materials in another place.  The bulk of creation happens somewhere else.  Homeschooling, work-from home, artistic people have the cards stacked against them.

A creative mess is better than tidy idleness, as the meme says...below is R explaining about her messy room.  Not sure it qualifies as a "creative mess" or just the messy sort of mess.

In other news, I changed my mind about the Montessori school for the moment.  R made it clear to me that she doesn't want to go.  I tend to question her a lot.  I am always trying to make sure that I am not influencing her decision too much. I don't want her to think school sucks just cause I think it does.  I hope she learns to trust her inner compass.  She wants to talk when she feels like it.  Morning is her mellow time, not thinking time...  But I still wonder if she would be happier with  Public Montessori education.  I hear it's inspiring.